just finished listening to this song (from the title) not too long ago. this particular piece always puts me in the mood of that time right after high school, when i was kicked out of college for my horrendous grades, spending my nights at my dad’s house outside for hours at a time just staring up at the sky, making up my dreams and goals in life. at the time, it meant getting high and watching the stars, trying to learn their secrets. of course, one of the side benefits of this practice is that i can still pretty accurately tell the time at night (in the summertime) just by the position of the stars in the sky.

i have to say that i am definitely not where i imagined myself to be at that time in my life. but this is the path life sets us on, and we either go with the flow or fight against it. but no matter how much fighting we do, we will still find ourselves where fate leads us. people argue all the time whether or not we have free will to make our own decisions, or if some other power is making them for us and we just have to accept that our lives are not in our control. personally, i believe that we make choices that put us on a path to our destiny, but the decisions we make in our lives determine whether or not we go gracefully or kicking and screaming.

especially i feel lately that i am again missing something in my life, and i am hard pressed to figure out what exactly is missing. maybe it’s the budding political season calling me back to activism, or it could be that dusty acoustic guitar in the corner waiting for me to come pick it up and breathe life into those old songs again. or maybe it’s something i have yet to experience and won’t realize what it is until it finally happens. i am reminded of a verse from the indigo girls’ song “love’s recovery”, which pretty much sums up this feeling in a few lines, and which was exactly how i would have described that period of my life. i only wish i could have written is as well as emily saliers did:

There I am in younger days.
Stargazing
Painting picture perfect maps
Of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love’s perfection
I missed a million miles of road I should have seen.

what it all comes down to, is that we all serve some purpose in life and even when we think we’ve found ours, something else may come along that takes precedence over that. or maybe it just feels better (or worse, depending on your perspective). but until we make that choice, we may never know exactly what it is we should or could have done with our lives, or how we may have changed the world with just one idea. even the things that distract us ultimately shape who we are and how we see the world. hopefully we will all make choices that make the world better for the next generation and beyond.

I lay my head on the railroad track
Stare at the sky all painted up
Your train is gone, won’t be coming back
See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines
Just a guy made of dots and lines

Two years ago moved from my town
I was looking up past the city lights
But the city lights got in my way
See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines
Just a guy made of dots and lines

I found my mind on the ground below
I was looking down, it was looking back
I was in the sky all dressed in black
See the constellation ride across the sky
No cigar, no lady on his arm
Just a guy made of dots and lines
Just a guy made of dots and lines
Just a guy made of dots and lines

Can you hear what I see in the sky?
Can you hear what I see in the sky?
Can you hear what I see in the sky?